According to the Marriage and Divorce Statistics 2018, Selangor had the highest number of divorce in 2017 at 10,862 cases.
Some of you may think that the divorce lawyers in Malaysia are reaping big profit from the unfortunate cases. However, like every occupation in this world, there are some downsides.
They have to deal with other people’s drama and stay composed while listening to tearful stories. They witness the ugly side of humans and families torn apart.
How does divorce happen? What happens to ’till death do us part’?
When you’re in love, you’re releasing such energy that allows positive, loving vibration to flow to you.
But when you’re locked in an argument with your spouse, you’re in a state that stops you from receiving loving vibration.
If unattended, two souls who were once connected deeply to each other will slowly grow apart and end up with divorce.
Lessons from Divorce Lawyers for Malaysians
Here are some lessons that we can learn from the confessions of divorce lawyers:
On Child Custody: Please Don’t Ruin Your Ex’s Relationship with the Children
Yes, you’ve carried your children in the womb for nine months. Yes, you’ve worked hard in order to provide the best for the family.
And it hurts so much that after all the efforts and sacrifices, the marriage has to end.
Some people feel bitter towards their ex after the divorce and use their children as weapons. They brainwashed their children and paint negative images towards the spouse. They forbid their ex to see or visit the children.
Although you get the custody of the children, it doesn’t give you a right to ruin the relationship between your ex and them.
In the long run, you’ll end up harming your children. They’ll resent their father and miss a father figure who will be a great help as they grow older.
On Who Keeps the Stuff: Avoid Pettiness
A divorce lawyer once had clients who were so petty they fought for a grill. Yes, you read that right.
None of them wanted to step back. They fought for hours that the lawyer wanted to buy another grill for them so they would stop. As if the divorce procedure in Malaysia isn’t complicated enough!
Remember that divorce lawyers, no matter where they’re from – Kuching, Sabah or Kuala Lumpur, charge an hourly rate. So, avoid pettiness or settle small matters at home or you’ll burn the legal fees just to feed your ego.
On Division of Marital Assets: Know Your Spouse’s Finances
You may not agree that your spouse needs to know everything about your retirement account, bank account or a holiday villa on top of a hill.
But in the end, you need to disclose your assets before negotiating the division of marital assets during the divorce procedure in Malaysia.
A divorce lawyer once had a couple who co-own property and assets but didn’t pay attention to how much the mortgage on the property, the stock value or the balance in their bank accounts. Some even tried to hide their assets.
This will make the job of your divorce lawyer more difficult as they would need to get the authorisation to access the couple’s financials.
On Bedroom Secrets: Keep Them to Yourself
To love means to respect.
Your bedroom secrets, especially sex issues, aren’t something to vent to your friends or family. By doing so, you’re humiliating your spouse.
Sadly, this is one of the reasons why people divorce in Malaysia. Venting about your spouse’s sex issues will make your spouse feels inadequate and develops trust issue towards you.
It’s a deep wound that takes longer to heal.
On In-laws Relationship: Try Your Best and Be Respectful
You may not get along with your in-laws. But they are important to your other half, therefore, you should try your best.
Always, always be respectful to your in-laws. If you have to visit or spend a few days with them, you may compromise with your spouse how to make it work. Else, you’ll create a distance between you and your other half that might end with divorce papers.
On Venting to Your Divorce Lawyers: That Counts as Lawyer Fees
Remember that your divorce lawyers are not your friend.
Yes, they’ll answer your call and be there for you whenever you need to vent about your spouse or the divorce procedure in Malaysia.
But don’t be surprised when you see the legal fees. Divorce lawyers get paid by the hour! So let your lawyer do what they need to do: to finalise the divorce.
On Life After Divorce: You’ll Get Through It
It may be hard for you to move on. For some people, they fall into depression thinking that it’s the end of the world.
Like any other unfortunate event in your life, eventually, you’ll get through the divorce and it will be your past.
Do things that make you happy or help you to get through it, such as moving to a new city, take a new hobby, catch up with old friends or attend workshops and courses to help you move on.
Wisdom Liberty Workshops and Courses for Healing, Self Empowerment & Finding Joy
Moving on after divorce could be unbearable, therefore, if possible, surround yourself with people you love and trust for support.
You may engage with therapists in KL who give workshops and courses that help to lift up your spirit, so you may attract joy, abundance, love and prosperity in your new chapter of life.
For example, Wisdom Liberty workshop about Releasing Deep Sadness is designed to help you to release deep sadness and grief so you can fully embrace love and joy.
Linnet Tan, our trainer, mentor, and transformational life coach, offers workshops, courses, and private sessions for personal growth as well that could help identify your problems and save your marriage.
Some of Wisdom Liberty workshops and courses are:
- Releasing Deep Sadness
- Soul-personality Integration and Relationship
- Tune In and Adjust Your Self-love and Prosperity Quotient
Click here to see more of the workshops and courses
Hopefully, you learn something from the confessions of divorce lawyers in Malaysia that we’ve compiled in this article.
A note for you who are divorced and trying to find new love…
“Give yourself the love you seek, and the Universe will send people who match it” – Abraham Hicks
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