Divorce is the most difficult phase of a married couple’s life. It is never easy for two souls who used to share the same vibrational energy to go separate ways.
Furthermore, when they have little souls dependent on them.
The two adults may have moved on and perhaps, as years go by, find a new partner and joy as the relationship flourishes. However, divorced Malaysian couples do not realise that the decision affects their children.
From the outside, some children of divorced parents may look as if they got it together and matured well.
Little do they know when divorce gets messy, their children are prone to emotional problems resulting from a traumatic childhood.
The emotional problems will not disappear as the child grows older because deep inside, the relationship with his inner child has dwindled over the years.
How the Divorce of Malaysian Parents Shapes the Inner Child
The divorce of Malaysian parents may shape the inner child through some series of circumstances:
Emotional Neglect
Perhaps the mother, father or guardian was too busy to be there for the child because they were too busy. Or they just didn’t care at all.
They were not there to support the child, shower him with love and protect him. They gave little to no guidance to the child. They didn’t give any attention to him, even condemned him whenever he expressed his needs.
As a result of emotional neglect childhood, the child may experience low self-esteem and self-worth. He will try to avoid or suppress his emotions as they were associated with the feelings of neglect in his childhood.
He will pay no attention to his emotional needs and unable to listen, deal with and accept his emotions in healthy ways.
Psychological Neglect
The psychological neglect was manifested in childhood when parents or guardians failed to listen to, embrace and nurture the child as who he was.
The neglects come in a variety of forms; such as constant punishments, high expectations and constant ignorance from the parents or guardians.
An adult whose inner child experienced psychological neglect may experience these traits:
- has low self-esteem
- unable to sustain healthy relationships
- often falls sick or developed mental issues
- falls into addictions to create a sense of comfort and safety
- always feeling angry and unable to love himself due to the trauma
Physical Neglect
One of the common problems for Malaysian children with divorced parents is physical safety.
Physical safety comes from a proper shelter, enough or abundant food, protection and nourishment from the family.
When someone experiences a lack of physical safety during childhood, he may develop eating disorders, maintaining an unhealthy diet and even harm himself.
Others may develop OCD or other psychological complexes, addictions and sexual promiscuity or dysfunction.
Thinking of Divorce? Here’s What Malaysians Parents Can Do for Their Children
For Malaysians who find divorce as the best option, use these strategies to reduce the psychological toll divorce has on your children:
Avoid Putting Your Children in the Middle
Some parents tend to ask their children to choose which parent they love the most. This action is very wrong as it shows your selfishness as a parent.
Hearing your children favour you over your ex-spouse may boost your ego after the messy divorce but it caused your children depression and anxiety.
Avoid Using Your Children as the Messengers
Malaysians who had a bitter divorce may try to avoid communication with their ex-spouse, therefore, using their children as the messengers.
Over the years, the children will find it hard to trust people and unable to communicate openly with others.
Co-parent Peacefully
The person you used to love may no longer be your spouse.
But it is highly important to co-parent peacefully to make your children feel safe and in a loving environment. Treat each other respectfully.
Avoid any tension and hostility such as screaming and threatening each other, as it will cause your children to develop behavioral problems.
By following this strategy, you will avoid distress on your children.
Empower Your Children
Your children may not have a perfect family because of divorce.
However, you can still empower them by telling them that no matter how hard the divorce process and changes in life that they may face, they are capable to go through it.
That they have the mental strength to handle it. With this, your children will develop strong mentalities and refuse to fall as the helpless victims of divorce.
Seek Professional Help from Therapists in KL for Yourself
In order to create a peaceful, loving relationship with your children and ex-spouse, it starts with paying attention to your well-being.
If you feel stress and need help to adjust the changes in your family, consider talking to a therapist in KL.
Other than therapy sessions, you can also attend yoga classes in KL, join energy healing workshops and meditate regularly.
Wisdom Liberty Energy Healing, Marriage & Post-divorce Workshops in Malaysia
Are you a child of divorced parents?
If yes, it is important for you to know that the divorce of your parents is not to be blamed for your emotional problems.
Yes, it may affect your inner child. And it affects how you feel, the life decisions you take, the emotional problems that you are experiencing while growing up until now.
Or perhaps your marriage is in trouble?
Do you want to feel the very same vibrational energy connection with your spouse again, after so many years?
Are you constantly feeling weak and in grief because of the deep sadness that you harbour since the day of your divorce?
Wisdom Liberty conducts a series of workshops that will help you to re-connect with your inner child, analyse the problems that unconsciously prohibiting you from the life you want, and release deep sadness from within.
Some of the energy healing, marriage and post-divorce workshops in KL are:
- Releasing Deep Sadness
- Clearing Stress and Embracing Joy & Grace
- Integrating Your Inner Child Into Your Strongest Ally
- Soul-Personality Integration and Relationship Healing
- Clearing Ancient Blocks to Self-love & Abundance
Click here to see more Wisdom Liberty workshops in KL
When it comes to Malaysians and divorce, there will never be right and wrong.
It is your decision to create a safe, peaceful and loving environment for your children. It is how you embrace and react to the changes in life.
If you feel like talking to our therapist or have questions about the workshops, contact us here.
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